Ever head out to a social catch up and on the way start thinking about who you might run into? There’s that sense of anticipation as we reacquaint.
This trip has been like that for me as we’ve reconnected with people from another lifetime.
Today wasn’t quite that day though.
The anticipation was there, but of a different kind. Today was the day we visited my brother’s grave, overlooking a lake in Ooty, Tamil Nadu.
It’s come quicker in the trip than I was prepared for. That’s a result of a busy schedule and the need to be fully present in each moment, no matter what’s happening.
That’s what today required of us – to be fully present. It’s not something I had to think about though. As we drew near to the cemetery the importance of what we were about to do descended on all of us and we were easily swept into the moment.
^ Taken just before dusk, looking out from the grave site
I’ll recount the story of how Juddy died another time. Today was about our family connecting here and remembering a ten year old boy we lost in 1982.
At the time we lost my brother, Dad was 34, mum was 32, I was 11 and Nessy was 8. We were a young crew indeed.
My wife and kids have been part of this narrative forever – how we lost Juddy, and that his grave is on the other side of the world. Today is the day it became real.
Seeing the headstone on the side of the hill with the name JUDSON ROSS MILNE engraved in it, tears flowed freely.
When we arrived we clambered up this hill and wandered around for 10 minutes looking for his resting place.
Dan finally found it. We’d bought tools from the local market in anticipation of it being unkempt. The entire cemetery is overgrown – but as it’s on the side of a hill it’s spectacular, it doesn’t matter much.
^ We stood around the headstone and cleaned it up with the help of the grounds keeper
Everyone was emotional including all the kids. It was interesting to watch my son Juddy as he carries his uncle’s name. Both my boys, my girls and of course Mela wept deeply as they saw their Dad, Aunty and grandparents all grieve a life taken so long ago.
^ Me and my sis, Nessy
We stood, held hands, said a prayer then sang the first verse of The Old Rugged Cross. Then we told some funny stories and slowly made our way down the hill.
On the way out, the grounds keeper, Martin, beckoned for us to follow him. He wanted to host us in his home. From the beginning there was empathy in his eyes as he understood that people from a foreign land had come to grieve a loved one.
We wandered across, met his wife Mary, then squeezed into their little home.
^ Husband and wife Martin and Mary
Their desire to be hospitable overwhelmed everything else. All of us shuffled into one tiny room and drank Indian chai that was far too sweet, and absolutely perfect.
Grave and headstone GPS coordinates
11.401126, 76.694289 (Accuracy: 5m)
